Biology and Gender

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, and I came across one particular article last week that for the life of me I can’t remember where I found it online but which raised the point that contemporary definitions of gender and sex might be a little too rigid. The main argument that I see conservatives making regarding the possibility of people being transgender is that, biologically speaking, you’re either male or female and while you may feel like your gender doesn’t line up with that you can’t change that fundamental reality. As the article pointed out, there are two problems with this position. The first is that the very characteristics we use to determine who is male and who is female, such as the presence or absence of facial hair, show considerable variation even between two individuals who are presumably of the same gender. For example, I rocked a goatee in high school at age 17, and I can still remember talking to one guy I worked with one summer who was shocked that I wasn’t 23 like he was because I had this awesome facial hair and all he’d ever managed to grow was stubble.

The second point raised in the article is that all of these various characteristics, from facial hair to breasts to the presence of one particular type of plumbing, can all now be changed. Hormone therapy and surgery can change everything but your genes. Yes, genetics determines what you start out with, but if every characteristic that indicates gender can be changed, can we really use biology as the ultimate indicator of one’s gender? I don’t think we can, and for me that raises further questions. What then do we use as an indicator of gender? And given that conclusion, is it wrong for someone to say I’m transgender, I’m a woman in a man’s body?

As Christians, even if biology is out as a fixed point in determining gender we would still say that the Bible is pretty specific. You’re either male or female, as God created you, and that’s that. To see if the biblical picture really is that fixed, I had a look at some of the evidence. In Genesis 1 and 2 we get the story of Creation, and what I found here is enough even by itself to make we question our commitment to our position on gender. In Gen. 1:27 we’re told, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” This verse would seem to end the argument, right? 

Take a closer look at the wording of this passage, though. The structure of the sentence connects “male and female” with the “image of God.” In other words, we’re created in the image of God as male and female. Now there is a lot of debate out there as to just what the “image” of God actually entails, but that’s not what I want you to see here. What I want you to see is that if we are created in the image of God, then there should be a connection between our sex/gender (however you want to word it) and God. Depending on how you define “image” you can define that connection in different ways, but notice this. God at this point in the story does not have a physical body. Jesus and the Incarnation is all the way off in the New Testament. Whatever the connection may be, it therefore can’t be solely physical. Whatever makes us male or female can’t be solely our plumbing, so to speak, because at this very point, when we’re told we’re created male or female in God’s image, God doesn’t have plumbing that we know of. What makes us who we are in terms of gender or sex (again using those words interchangeably) must therefore be something deeper than simply our physical bodies. 

I am not for a moment suggesting we throw out every passage of Scripture that speaks to us as male and female. I am suggesting that our understanding of what it is that makes us male or female or transgender or agender or whatever else needs to change. If we can’t use physical characteristics as a fixed determination of gender, and if Scripture isn’t as black and white as it would at first appear, then what we are left with to determine the gender of a particular body is the person living inside that body. If they decide on something we don’t agree with, who are we to argue with that?

So About Beauty and the Beast…

Beauty-Beast-2017-Movie-PostersCan we all just chill out? My wife and I saw the movie this past weekend and even now I’m still trying to figure out just what it is that Christians are so enraged about. The entire “gay agenda” in the movie comes down to maybe 12 seconds of screen time. And you know what? If there hadn’t been such a huge uproar about it, I wouldn’t have even known LeFou was gay. And this is why we called for a boycott of Disney? Give me a break. This is why no one takes us seriously anymore.

Transgender Day of Visiblity

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So as I found out last night, yesterday was Transgender Day of Visibility. I hadn’t known this, and I wish I had. I think it’s a great idea. My own views on the LGBTQ community in general, and on trans people in particular, have changed largely through getting to know you on social media. Anything that gets you out there and gets your stories heard is a good thing.

There’s another aspect to it that also makes it a great idea, at least potentially. It’s an awesome opportunity for us as Christians to stand up and say to you as trans people, “We see you. You matter. You have value as you and for who you are.” Our God is the God who knows us fully. For us to show you that same love and affirmation is the least we can do.

That being said, when I found out how important yesterday was I went hunting through Facebook to see if we had done this at all. There were individuals here and there reachng out, with the odd church or two, but by and large we were silent. From my own denomination there were crickets. The Southern Baptist Convention is the largest Protestant denomination in the United States, and we couldn’t even say hi on a day like yesterday? (A quick Google search showed that this wasn’t just on Facebook, either.) That’s sad. It really is. We blew a huge opportunity to at least show a little respect.

This may be a day late and a dollar short, but from one Christian to any trans individuals reading this, I see you. You matter, you really do. You have value as you are right now. Period. Don’t let anyone else tell you different, especially those who claim the name of Christ.

A Question of Culture

I have to apologise. Starting this post on my laptop and then finishing it on my phone caused WordPress to lose the last third of it. I hope it’s not too convoluted; I failed to type it up in Word first like I sometimes do. Anyways, enjoy!

GodsNotDead2PosterSo we watched God’s Not Dead 2 last night, and I have to say that I think it shows more than anything that we as Christians are in the middle of a culture gap. One of the best scenes in the movie gets at the reality that Christianity is offensive and has been for the 2000 years of its history and why should we change who we are or be forced to change who we are just because people get offended. There’s a lot of truth in that, but it’s easy for us to forget that there’s a flip side to that. We can get offended just as easily as anyone else, and in attempting to protect our right to do so while at the same time avoiding any consequences of it we can be guilty of the very controlling approach that the movie portrays in such a negative light.

Our cultural ineptness actually doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me. As a Canadian living in the South, for example, I know firsthand how easy it is for a given culture to be painted in a specific light that may or may not be true. When I first came down here to visit my wife 7 years ago now, it came as a shock to find that most of the people in this neighbourhood own at least one firearm. I suppose it shouldn’t have, given the reputation that Americans have back in Canada for having a “gun culture,” but it did. Over time, however, I found that gun culture really had little to do with it. We live out in the country, away from the big cities, and it makes sense to have something to defend yourself with if the need arises. It may be an oversimplification but there’s a lot more to gun ownership down here than simple love of firearms or a legacy of the Old West, but that’s something you only come to learn through living in a culture and interacting with it.

As Christians, we’re not always big on doing that. We’d rather preach than converse and learn. I’ve touched on the subject before, but throughout history our approach to other cultures has sadly been that it’s not enough just to be like Christ; you have to be like me, too. There’s one case study from my Global Ministries course in seminary that I’ll never forget. It had to do with missionaries from a Western country reaching out with the message of Christ to a tribal culture in Africa. The gist of it was that the Western missionaries approached the issue from their own philosophical background. It’s probably another oversimplification, but we in the West tend to base much of our thinking on Descartes’ maxim “I think, therefore I am.” I think, I make decisions, and I have a life. In short, we value the individual. There are cultures around the world, including this hypothetical one in Africa, where the maxim is not that but rather “I participate, therefore I am.” The culture depends on the group for survival, and therefore the individual matters only so much as they contribute to that end. It thus came as a surprise to the missionaries to find that their efforts yielded not a number of individual responses to the gospel but rather the group leader deciding to accept Christ on behalf of the community, and this left the missionaries at an impasse.

Salvation being an individual thing, how were they to respond? Given the size of the community, it’s likely that not everyone present agreed with the leader’s decision and may therefore think they have responded to the gospel when really they haven’t. Should the missionaries push the issue on an individual level, knowing full well that doing so will likely alienate the entire community and prevent any further possibility of relationship? Or should they leave it as is, trusting that their respect of the culture will keep the door open for the relationship to continue?

Which would you have chosen? I know what we tend to go with, and it’s not really respectful. My own inclination is to go with the latter option. Meeting people where they are at means delivering the message in a way that they will actually hear. The Apostle Paul speaks of this in 1 Corinthians 9 when he talks about “becoming all things to all men.” He came across in a way that people could relate to and understand and this changed depending on who he was dealing with at the time.

Our cultural ineptness colours our relationship with the LGBTQ community perhaps more than it does with any other group at present. We tend to think that because they live in the same country as we do that they are simply an extension of our own culture and as such they can be preached to as ones who, even if they don’t understand where we’re coming from, will at least respond to it as we did. In doing so, we forget that there are multiple cultural groups within this country and that not all of them see things as we do. (If you’re reading this as an LGBTQ individual, I am not for a moment trying to suggest that what makes you who you are is something as subjective as a cultural difference. I am simply trying to point out to my fellow Christians that in projecting our own preconceptions onto others we can alienate the very ones we’re supposed to care about the most.) In my interactions with the LGBTQ community over the last year, I have found that by and large they just want to be who they are. Many of them have spent years trying to sort out just who they are and coming to terms with that, and then they’ve had to fight for the right just to be that person. Every time that we as evangelical Christians have interacted with them, as far as I can tell, we have completely and utterly failed to acknowledge that. In doing so, we have alienated them as surely as our fictional missionaries would have done so had they pushed their own views on that African culture. What they want from us is the freedom to come to Christ as LGBTQ individuals if they so choose, and then to not have to change that just because they’re not a follower of Christ.

I know that last paragraph made some of my readers cringe a little. Let me explain. I am aware that there are those who will point out that respecting where LGBTQ individuals are coming from is not something we as Christians can do. Cultural differences are one thing, but the Bible calls same-sex relationships sin and we should, too, and that’s that. As a minister and a student of theology, I am very much aware that there are passages in the Bible which call it a sin. Now despite being a minister and a student of theology, I have to admit that I have no idea what to do with these passages. On the one hand, my respect for Scripture and my own research into biblical history means that I can’t dismiss these passages as some have recommended, seeing them as translation errors or as a modern concept read back into an older text. On the other, I am not about to go to someone who has struggled for years to figure out who they are, and dealt with all the fallout that goes with that, and say sorry, that part of you isn’t good. It has to go. I have too much respect for people who struggle to do that. And where’s the love in that? Paul’s example in 1 Corinthians 9 is to be “all things to all people,” not have all people be what I think they should be. (That also leads to a host of other questions, like is it possible for people “to be born that way”. Speaking again as a minister and student of theology I believe that it is, although I cannot yet defend that position from a scriptural background as well as I would like. The bottom line is that they’re people, too, and worthy of our respect. Too often we forget that.)

Having said all of that, I am aware that there are also those who will object that even if a gay, or lesbian, or trans person can become a Christian (and there’s absolutely no reason why that’s not possible), that part of them still has to change once they know Jesus. My response to that is simply to ask, why? It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict of sin (John 16:8), and if he doesn’t do that with these people then who the hell are we to take up that task on our own? He works with each of us in different ways on different levels, and if he can show his glory through a trans Christian, or a lesbian Christian, or a gay Christian, why can’t we just let that be?

One of the lessons that my Global Ministries course emphasised again and again is that the gospel message transcends culture. No one culture has a claim to it, and you don’t need to belong to a certain culture in order to be acceptable to God. That being said, we are guilty, I think, of equating “American” culture with “Christian” culture. How much of what we as Christians share with differing groups is the gospel itself and how much of it is our own cultural baggage? “You have to be like me, too.” It is well past the point where we need to look hard at our beliefs and work to separate the one from the other. Only in answering that question of culture will we be able to see that those we call different really aren’t all that different at all.

When will we learn?

In taking the time to reach out to the LGBTQ community over the last few months, I’ve learned that we as Christians can often have a skewed idea of what those who disagree with us are trying to achieve when they disagree with us. We tend to look closely at what we stand to lose if they were to gain a more dominant voice in society than we have, and then we combine that analysis with our own fears and conclude that these people are the enemy and must be opposed no matter the cost. The end result is that we come off looking kinda stupid given what we profess to believe.

I was reminded of this last week when I stumbled into a Facebook discussion of whether or not Christians in the U.S. are actually being persecuted for their faith at present. The general consensus was that it can and does happen but that more often than not what we term persecution is simply those we disagree with responding in kind to how we’ve treated them. Buried in that discussion was what prompted me to write this post. One gay man made a statement that stopped me in my tracks. I’ve heard many different perspectives from other Christians as to what, in general, LGBTQ people want. There have been some who honestly say it’s about civil rights, others who say they’re trying to force their agenda on us, and still others who say that it’s about indoctrinating everyone who disagrees with them. What no one has said before was what this man pointed out, that all he really wanted was for those who disagreed with him to respect his right to live as he sees fit. He was aware that people out there may never actually see gay marriage in a positive light. While that did hurt, he said the important thing was not necessarily to change their minds but rather for them to respect his right to hold the views that he does and to live by them. In turn, he would treat them based on whether or not they did.

As a Christian, that made me think. It’s such a simple thing. As we believe in a God who gave us free will we should be the first to show respect when others exercise that free will even if we don’t agree with how they’re doing it. And yet we’re not. Too often we’re the least respectful people involved. Why is that? Are we afraid? Have we forgotten the God we claim to know? How hard is it really to do something as simple as respecting the choices of others? And when will we learn that doing so will be a far greater testimony to Jesus than any impassioned defense of traditional marriage will ever be? What saddens me even more is that we can’t even see that this is in our best interest as well. If we can legislate in discriminatory ways based on our beliefs, the LGBTQ community can do likewise when the political winds shift. And yet we can’t even see that.

In Luke 6:31, Jesus says, “As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” We’re sending a hell of a message by our example right now. We treat others like crap,  I then cry persecution when they treat us as we treated them. When will we learn? Not, I’m afraid, before it’s too late for those we are supposed to care about the most (and quite possibly for ourselves, too). In the end, what they are trying to achieve is nothing more than to have the very respect we already owe them.

It’s Not Over Yet

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One of my all-time favorite TV shows is The Last Ship (I’ve quoted from it before in case you missed it). I’ve been slowly working through it as I find the seasons for sale at my local 2nd & Charles. Anyways, early on in the second season there’s an episode where the crew finally make it home to look for their families. If you’ve never seen the series, the USS Nathan James has spent the first season looking for a cure to this global pandemic and now that they’ve found it and fought off those who want it for themselves they get to go home to check on their own families. Many, obviously, don’t have families to go back to, but for Captain Chandler it’s different. His family, minus his wife who died before he could rescue them, is on the ship with him.

For Captain Chandler the questions are different than they are for his crew. Going home is only supposed to be temporary while they refuel and resupply. His wife died because he wasn’t there to save her and he blames himself, meaning he wrestles with the guilt he feels and whether or not he should go back to sea with his crew. What happens to his kids if he doesn’t come back this time? Given how badly his crew has been hurt so far, he isn’t just playing the what-if game. How can he justify that risk?

Chandler is not the only one in the episode who struggles, either. His Executive Officer, Commander Slattery, hasn’t had much word from his family since the show started. In short, he has no idea where they are and no one would really blame him if he left to look for them. He’s torn between leaving to look for them or staying with the ship.

Life can get that way for us sometimes, too, can’t it? You finally get to where you want to be in life, whether it’s in your career or with your family, and you start thinking your job is done. Or maybe you start to think that you’ll never get to where you want to be in life, so why bother, right? Maybe you’re one who follows Jesus and you get to where you want to be and so you say to him, “You do what you want. I followed you this far but I like where I’m at right now so I’m just going to stay here.”

For the characters of The Last Ship, the job isn’t done yet. Their mission, that of putting the world back together, is in many ways just getting started, and both the Captain and the XO belong with their ship. It’s a good thing, too, because greater threats await them when they do go back out.

I know how that feels because I’m there myself. My position right now is a curious mix of both. For one thing, I’ve been job hunting for so long that I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever find something that affords us greater financial freedom. On the other, we’ve spent years longing for a place of our own and now that we have it I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to do next. There are many days where I just want to take it easy. The battle’s over, right? I mean, we got what we wanted. And as one who follows Jesus, there are indeed days when I do just want to tell him that I’m good where I’m at so can we please just pause life here for a while? Let the world get on without me for a while.

Here’s the thing. We have the freedom to make that choice. We can duck out of life if we so choose. That being said, if you’re reading this you’re still breathing, and that means your life isn’t over yet. That, in turn, means you’re not done yet. There is more to do, and I don’t mean that in terms of religious obligations of some kind. I mean there’s more to see, more to learn, more times to be there for those closest to you, and more opportunities to choose intimacy with Jesus. And if you don’t know him, there’s more time to listen to his tug on your heart.

Will it cost us? Yes. Not everyone who goes back out with Captain Chandler is still around come the end of the season. The very thought of what that might mean in my own story makes me hesitate. Do I really want to go back out there again? Problem is, what we have to do in this life matters. It really does. And if not me, then who? If not you, then who? It’s your story, and it’s not over yet.

No Place Like Home

In Luke 9:58, when a man tells Jesus, “I’ll follow you anywhere,” Jesus responds by stating that “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” Now I’ve read that passage dozens of times, and heard it preached on once or twice, usually in the context of trying to explain the cost of following Christ. The entire end of this chapter actually explores the concept and it’s really quite fascinating, especially from a literary point of view. We get these 3 little snippets of conversation, without being told anything about who it is that’s talking to Jesus or how they respond to what he tells them or even why they say what they do in the first place. All we get, really, is the interaction. But I digress.

I’ve usually taken this particular verse in the sense of if I was ever a missionary in some foreign place then I might not necessarily have a pillow or a bed or whatnot. I’d have to make do with whatever I could find. What got my attention here, and what I want to point out, is in the first part of the verse. To a fox and a bird, a hole in the ground and a nest aren’t just a place to sleep at night. They’re home. They’re a place of relative safety, a place to raise your young. The human equivalent might be a place to be yourself. A place where you can relax, let your guard down, and check your worries at the door. As you might imagine, this isn’t just a physical place but an emotional one, as well. Home is where the heart is, right?

Here’s the thing. We’re not promised any of that. That’s what Jesus’s statement is meant to convey to this eager young man. If Jesus himself never had that, how can we expect to? And I don’t say that to burst your bubble or point you to some “super spiritual” wisdom. It’s meant to be a comfort in addition to a challenge. If you find yourself in a place where you’re not understood or not welcome, or where you’re alone, you’re in good company. And it’s probably not your fault, either. We are, after all, always going to be outcasts in this world. Only when we finally reach heaven’s shores will we truly be home. Until that day, don’t lose heart. You are not misunderstood or unwanted, and you are never truly alone. You are known fully and loved deeply by the one who died just to be with you and who, if you are willing to trust him, will be waiting for you there with open arms.

A Call for Civility and a Little Good Faith

Common Ground Venn Diagram Shared Interest Agreement Compromise

It’s been longer than I planned on since I posted last. Part of that was accidental and part, I have to admit, was deliberate. With all the controversy surrounding LGBTQ issues I wanted to step back and take a breather. Clear my head, and try to understand where this whole reaching out thing is supposed to go from here.

Social media being what it is, that’s been easier said than done. I follow a number of both conservative and LGBTQ sites on Facebook, for example, and with the Trump administration removing guidance on the Title IX protections, the Supreme Court sending the Gavin Grimm case back down to a lower federal appeals court, the increase in states pushing anti-LGBTQ legislation, and the gay character in the new Beauty and the Beast movie, my Facebook feed has been fairly full. I’ve also had a front row seat to the hostility both sides have directed towards each other, and it is to this hostility that I want to speak.

Reading through the comments on a number of different LGBTQ posts, you quickly get the sense that everyone who disagrees with them is a hateful, homophobic bigot that needs to accept reality and get with the times. Conversely, on Christian and conservative sites, you quickly get the impression that the LGBTQ community is trying to shove their beliefs down our throats, normalize behavior that isn’t normal, and put their feelings above the rights of the rest of the country. (Franklin Graham called for a boycott of Disney, for crying out loud.)

Here’s the thing. Once you get past the emotions tied up in all of this (and I’ll grant you there’s a lot of that on both sides), much of what each side accuses the other of just isn’t true. I know a number of Christians, for example, who are good, loving people yet who oppose same-sex rights. Are they intentionally bigoted and hateful? From what I can tell, no. They’re just coming to terms with an issue that they’ve never had to address in their worldview before. Sometimes in thinking through these things we say and do hurtful things without realizing it and sometimes we may come across as hurtful without meaning to. I know a number of of people, for example, who have expressed anger at Disney for the gay character in Beauty and the Beast not because they are ardent homophobes but rather because Disney has gone and changed a character they’ve known and loved for years. Now I am definitely not defending the actions we have taken that have been deliberately hurtful and in which I am very much convinced we know exactly what we’re doing (see my letter from January for more on that). All I am saying is that there are many Christians out there who are simply trying to come to terms with LGBTQ rights. I can tell you from experience that this is not an easy thing to do. I’m a Christian and as ardent a supporter of LGBTQ rights as you’re likely to find in the South, yet it’s taken me almost a year of reflection on my beliefs to get to this point. Many of these people I’m referring to have have held these views for years, in some cases far longer than I had, and such things are not always simply changed.

On the other side, as I’ve interacted with members of the LGBTQ community through social media I’ve come to realize that the vast majority aren’t guilty of the things we accuse them of. They’re not trying to shove their beliefs down our throats and neither are they trying to put their feelings above the rights of the rest of the country. (Even if they were, the rights that currently exist in this country wouldn’t exist at all unless someone had felt strongly enough to ensure they were protected.) They simply want to live their lives the same as you and me. They want to exist. They’ve fought for years to have the same rights we do and they are understandably hurt and pissed off that we try so hard to take those away.

What, I wonder, would happen if each side simply set aside the fear and emotions and simply took the other side in good faith? I’m not denying the hurt that does exist. All I’m saying is that a little understanding and civility might go a long way towards opening up the lines of communication that we so badly need. We’re all human, after all, and all deserving of the dignity and respect that goes with that. Furthermore, as Christians it might be the only way to share Christ’s love in this whole mess, which is the very thing we’re supposed to be about as God’s people in this world. We ask for faith as part of our dealings with others around us. Maybe it’s time we showed a little, too.

The Last Few Weeks

hqdefaultSeveral weeks ago, I published here an open letter to the Southern Baptist Convention on the subject or our treatment of the LGBTQ community. In that time, I have forwarded this letter to every Baptist organization I can think of that is in the public eye and therefore in a position to do the most good (including, among others, the North American Missions Board, the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, and the Baptist Press). Given how touchy we Christians can be on the subject of homosexuality, I expected to get a flurry of responses. What I got instead was silence. Our stance that the concerns of the LGBTQ community do not represent a civil rights issue is causing nothing but hurt and we don’t even want to talk about it.

When I finally did get a response from the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission (ERLC), I was able to understand better the logic and the reasoning behind our position as a Convention on the civil rights issue, the so-called “bathroom debate,” and trans people in general. I have to say that from a theological standpoint, I found little to fault with it. It fits the theological worldview that many Baptists share. That being said, the Convention’s position has one major flaw. If you’re an LGBTQ individual reading this, you’ll know better than anyone that you don’t share that worldview. You approach this entire subject from a completely different angle, so to speak. And that’s fine. The flaw in the Convention’s position is that we don’t even bother to acknowledge that difference. We have our reasons for seeing things as we do, we want you to come around to see things our way, and that’s that. For example, I read through one article that was provided to me by the ERLC about how feeling like your actual gender doesn’t match your physical gender is a diagnosable medical condition called gender dysphoria, and it’s our job as Christians to love you through that struggle until you come to a place where the gender you feel you are matches the gender you physically are. So this thing which you say makes you who you are, well, as the Convention sees it, it just means you’re confused. Basically, you’re mentally ill.

Without being too blunt, like I said I understand the theology behind the Convention’s position, but how the hell are we supposed to love and respect you, to be ambassadors for Christ and show you that he loves you enough that he died to get you back, if we can’t even acknowledge and respect where you’re coming from?

What we have here, in essence, are two completely different cultures (something else I think we as Christians have a hard time understanding). It’s long been an issue in church history that it’s not enough for us to try to share the Gospel but we have to bring along our culture as well. The Apostle Paul dealt with it in the New Testament. He wrote the Letter to the Galatians to oppose those who believed it wasn’t enough simply for Gentiles to believe in Jesus but they also had to keep the Jewish law (including circumcision). And 1500 years later, when church missionary efforts were headquartered in Europe, those who brought the Gospel around the world were notorious for bringing European civilization along with it. In short, we have a bad habit of believing that in order for you to be acceptable to God, you also have to become like us. What we forget is that every time we try that, all we do is hurt people. That, more than anything else, is what I think is driving the Convention’s position in this area.

And I know there are those who will read this and say that how we treat the LGBTQ community is not a cultural issue at all, that Scripture is very clear on this matter and that pretty well determines how we interact with you. Our job is not to enforce our beliefs on you, or to try to convince you to come around to seeing things our way. Our job, as representatives of Jesus here on Earth, is simply to take you as you are and love you as you are in hopes that through that you see his love for you. Anything that gets in the way of that not only hurts you but also stops us from being about the very thing that we are supposed to be about here in this world.

Please hear me when I say that taking you as you are does not mean for me that you are confused or mentally ill. It also does not mean that I view the reality of you being gay, or lesbian, or trans, or whatever, as a reality that only exists inside your head. It means that I will love and accept you as gay, lesbian, trans, or whatever. As a Christian I can do no less.

Why Reach Out at All?

bf12cf208fe99c47d926428de6a91562So the question has come up several times in the last few weeks as to why I am so committed to reaching out as I do. Why reach out to the LGBTQ community at all, especially living in the South where being Baptist and talking to them at all virtually guarantees I’ll never have a pastorate of my own? I mean, am I gay myself? Do I plan on “becoming gay”? On the other hand, am I simply trying to get LGBTQ people to change, to “repent” of being gay (or lesbian or whatever) so they can go to heaven when they die? I wanted to take the time to clarify, both for myself and for others reading this, as to just why this ministry is so important. That first question is really the one I want to answer, but let me start with the others first.

Am I gay? No. I am happily married to a beautiful woman and quite content with that. Do I plan on “becoming gay”? No. Again, if you missed it the first time, I am happily married to a beautiful woman and quite content with that. So why reach like this? Am I trying to get LGBTQ people to “repent” so they can go to heaven when they die? Yet again, no. I am not. We get the idea that they even need to from passages like 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, which reads, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Seems pretty straightforward, right? If you’re gay, you don’t go to heaven unless you stop being gay. The problem with that interpretation comes when you look at the other categories listed in this passage. In Matthew 5:27-28, Jesus equates adultery with lust, meaning  if you’re guilty of the second you’re also guilty of the first. I’ve known a lot of Christian guys over the years who’ve struggled with that one, and if you apply the same logic to lust that we just applied to being gay, well, they’re not going to heaven, either. And that’s a problem, because in Hebrews 10:12 we’re also told that Jesus’ death on the cross was enough to pay the price for all sin. Period. End of sentence. You can’t add to that sacrifice, meaning nothing else is needed for eternal life. So in a roundabout way, no, I am not reaching out to the LGBTQ community because I believe that your sexuality is something that has to dramatically change in order for you to be acceptable in God’s sight. 

So why, then? If what the Bible says is true (and I understand that there are a lot of people reading this who disagree with that and that’s fine; just hear me out), then we as Christians have the hope within us that changes everything. The hope of life after death, the hope of a relationship with the one who made you and gave his life so that that relationship could be restored. You see Christianity isn’t just about being loving or accepting others as they are or even fighting for your civil rights (although it is all of those things). It’s about that relationship, and sharing that with you so that you can come home to the one who loves you as you are, whether you’re straight, trans, gay, lesbian, or whatever. He calls to us through our desires and our hopes and our dreams. He wants us back.  And if we as Christians treat you the way that we have historically, then you don’t see that. You don’t want anything to do with that. And for me, that’s a problem. You can read what I’ve written, you can examine the claims of Christianity, and you can think the whole thing is a crock and go on with your life and that’s fine. We all have free will. We all get to make that choice. However, if you can’t even look at what the Bible says because of our actions as Christians, well, that’s not so fine. That’s our fault. The only thing that keeps you out of heaven is what you decide to do with Jesus and what he offers (Matthew 7:23). So why do I do what I do? I want you as members of the LGBTQ community to have a fair shot at making that choice. You deserve it.